Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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