dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
