u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
