dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
