what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
