Where are you?
In a non slutty way
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
