Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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