Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My feet surprised me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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