Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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