And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
