my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
