I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
