Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
