It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
