bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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