new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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