Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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