She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
