i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
