The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
