Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
