I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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