Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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