Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
