Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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