You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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