What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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