that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
