Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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