I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
