I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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