definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
