we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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