I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
