just come out here and I will go home with you...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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