I want you more than these girls want KFC
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
