Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
