Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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