I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
