Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
