4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
