I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
