We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
