if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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