I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
