Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
