If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
