literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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