its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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