I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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