Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
