Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
