If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
