Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
