he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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