Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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