at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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