"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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