Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
not ubering you a puppy
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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