I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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