I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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